i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy