It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father