I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect