First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?