its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
