I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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