Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
