too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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