Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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