is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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