Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
