You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
