I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
