Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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