So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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