we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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