I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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