i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
