guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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