I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
