My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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