dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
