So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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