o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
