I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
