Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
