Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize