Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she told me i tasted like america
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
