Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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