i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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