I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Pooping to opera.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
