They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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