Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
