i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
