My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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