my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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