Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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