Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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