ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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