She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
