It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
