So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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