I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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