I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
