You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
