____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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