I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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