The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
