i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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