He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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