let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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