it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
