I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
