i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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