it wasn't lemon gatorade
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
