Sponge bath it is.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
