he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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