Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
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You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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