Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
