the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
