Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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