i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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