thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think your dad took our porno
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
