You made me cry and you don't even care
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
